Risus Monkey
Unusual Suspects

J. Robert Hinkley, Ph.D. (1931)

Description: Everything you imagined a professor should be like... and twice as dangerous. Tallish, 40ish, vaguely athletic, and immaculately groomed. Rarely seen without pipe or tweed. Unflappable in the face of strange occurrences and unconventional behavior.

Clichés: Unflappable Fortean Scientist! (4), Outwardly Respectable Libertine & Lothario (4), Physically Fit Amateur Pugilist (2), Hack Writer (1).

Lucky Shots: [ ] [ ] [ ].

Hook: Absent-minded professor (has trouble remembering names, dates, or important facts unless related to Science! or useless trivia).

Languages: English (native), various esoteric languages that nobody speaks.

Equipment: Various weird pseudo-scientific instruments. Rube-Goldberg fitness equipment. Conservative wardrobe. Pipe.

Tale: Born in early 1890, John Robert Hinkley quickly discovered the thrill of scientific romances from the likes of Jules Verne and H.G. Wells. John's father, a physically and mentally abusive New England preacher of the fire-and-brimstone variety, viewed such literature as dangerous atheist propaganda. As a result, John was forced to conceal his interest by borrowing books from his few friends, and spending countless hours in the library. His many trips to the library took him through some rather unsavory neighborhoods. Eventually, he suffered a terrible beating at the hands of some young toughs. Finding no sympathy from his furious father who now saw through his son's deception, John was determined to use the Science! of Wells and Verne to better his miserable existence. With little schooling other than religious classes that he couldn't remember, the best he could do was order the scientific manuals to a better life advertised in the back of old detective magazines. Within weeks, they started arriving and John devoured them, absorbing wisdom that only he could find in their pages. Discovered pilfering from his father's wallet, he was forced to run away from home. Using newly gained knowledge of social dynamics, he was able to con his way into a small New York tenement. To make ends meet, he began running errands for the Five Pointers gang under the notorious Paul Kelly. Oblivious to the crimes he was facilitating, he continued his private "studies" supported by that modest income. Then, in 1907, he was involved in a caper that went sour. His associates were all killed or captured. Seeing as how he kept their ill-gotten gains and was sure to feel the wrath of remorseless killers, he opted for a change of scenery. He left New York for the mythical "Old West" that he had read about in dime novels, convinced that the "frontier spirit" was just what he needed to continue to make his mark on the world. In 1908, he found himself in Silverlode, Colorado, as one of the first students of the Silverlode Institute of Science and Technology.

Living in Silverlode, studying at "The Institute", was a formative time for young Hinkley. His mentor, Professor Gordon MacAlpine, encouraged wild, out-of-the-box thinking and appreciated Hinkley's mail-order mentality. And Silverlode itself was a strange place, where daily events offered opportunities for adventure as well as proof that the world was more than it seemed. Yet the small town was too remote for Hinkley to achieve lasting fame and fortune. After graduating at the top of his class (of about a dozen), he decided to strike out into the larger world. Failing to land respectable work (his degree from the Institute was of little use), he tried his hand at writing scientific romances, even managing a few minor successes. He then talked his way into a Ph.D. program in psychology at Princeton. He started dating the dean's daughter and it took every ounce of willpower that he possessed to hold on to the relationship until he achieved his degree. The subsequent messy breakup (after being caught in a rather uncompromising position celebrating his success with some undergraduate coeds) resulted in him being blacklisted from academic work for the next several years (during which time he earned his living writing self-help books). His life rapidly turned around when he uncovered his former dean's involvement in a nefarious plot to conduct hideous experiments on children. The notoriety from this incident cleared his name and helped him land a job as a professor of parapsychology at the University of California at Berkeley. Now, he occasionally publishes some rather outré research papers while always managing to finagle 80% female enrollment in his classes.

Unflappable Fortean Scientist! Investigating strange occurrences, proving crackpot theories, being ignored by mainstream scientists, knowing all manner of pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo, remaining calm at all times.

Outwardly Respectable Libertine & Lothario: Projecting an aura of respectability, smooth-talking, bedding beautiful betties, imbibing mind-altering substances with few negative effects, knowing where to go for illicit entertainment.

Physically Fit Amateur Pugilist: Being healthy and modestly athletic; boxing.

Hack Writer: Writing trashy sci-fi romances, two-finger typing, surviving without money.